Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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