His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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