If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
