He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
