He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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