she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pants are for mortals
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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