i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
