Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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