Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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