Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
