I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
