Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
