im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
