so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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