White coat. Heels.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
