margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
