If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize