I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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