Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
