dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
