party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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