Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize