i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize