We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
