yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize