So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
