Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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