Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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