we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
