Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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