I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
