Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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