Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
