shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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