Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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