True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
