tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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