i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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