You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize