he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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