when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
