maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize