My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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