What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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