My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I party with great urgency now.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
