I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
