what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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