Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize