You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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