And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That accounts for only three of the penises
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
