Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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