so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
