This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
