Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
