i used baking grease as lip gloss
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize