she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
