but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
