you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We're too hungover to prance.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
