In the future we'll all be gay
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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