i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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