Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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